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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A decade and a half ago, the Marriage Equality Act was signed into law. It changed the LGBTQ+ community in New York state and went on to create change across the country.
“The idea was that there are certain rights that legally married people had. And that you didn’t have. And so we started the movement that we would create domestic partnerships,” Assemblymember Harry Bronson said.
He was one of the lawmakers who led the charge 15 years ago that would eventually change the course of history. A collection of advocates backed his efforts.
“This is what we do in America. We say that people are created equal, are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of marriage. Happiness. They walk the walk. Marriage is an institution that is foundational to our American way of life, with its protections, that its sanctity and respect,” Anne Fisher said, hand in hand with her wife, Bess Was.
The timing was perfect for Deborah Hughes and Emily Jones, who were already engaged when New York legalized same-sex marriage.
“I never thought I’d see that in my lifetime,” Hughes admitted.
The couple was originally planning to get married in a civil ceremony at a church, and legalize their marriage in Canada. However, the upstate New Yorkers were excited to get married around their support system.
“Our officiant asked us to turn around and look at the people gathered in the church, and they clapped and gave us a standing ovation. And I never felt so affirmed. And that joy just carried us through.”
“It was all about, now we could be here with our friends and family,” Hughes said. “We didn’t have to go away and that was phenomenal,” Jones said.
Being recognized as wife-and-wife was important to the couple because it meant they could take care of each other.
“We had to carry lots and lots of legal documents everywhere we went so that we could provide for each other’s healthcare, first and foremost,” Jones said.
“We went through all the process of all the legal documents to make sure that if one of us got sick, what would happen to the things that we possessed? We went through quite a process legally,” Hughes explained. “It’s important to have it recognized. It’s important to have access to any of the other rights and obligations. But when it comes down to it, it’s about two people making a commitment. Because they can then, for better or for worse, for rich or for poorer, and it should be honored and it should be supported.”
“Marriage equality is more than a legal milestone. It has real, everyday impacts on people’s health and well-being. When individuals and families are recognized and protected, they are able to access better care, make better medical decisions for one another, and live with a greater sense of stability and security,” Jason Barnecut-Kearns, Trillium Health’s CEO, said. “Marriage equality and health equity go hand in hand when we recognize people fully in law, in healthcare and in our communities. We create a system that works better for everyone. We reduce disparities. We build trust and we strengthen families.”
Fifteen years since the legislation passed, and many in the LGBTQ+ community say they still feel resistance from some people who don’t believe in their marriage.
“We’re living in times where equality for LGBTQ+ couples is viewed as oppression by some other people,” Was said. “Those people are misled into thinking that the happiness of other couples will somehow diminish their own happiness, or threaten their world. Communities nationwide are under attack for being tolerant, welcoming and inclusive. The most important lesson we learned this activist is you don’t give up. You don’t give in and you never go away.”
Jones says the couple welcomes open conversation with those who have different beliefs. She says they often grew up being taught differently, and after each conversation, they can often agree that love is what’s most important.
“It’s important to sit there and listen to them. Spend the time listening to what it is that upsets them,” Jones said. “The creator has said it’s all about love. How am I going to debate this when it’s all about love?”
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